Life is so much more than work (or at least it should be). We seek human connection, acceptance, validation. We want to be liked. Our friends, our family, our children, the man or woman we so much want to go out with, the person we go to bed with. It’s in our human nature. Still, we interact more than we actually communicate, in the literal meaning of communication.
Every since I remember myself, there have been may occasions when I wanted to connect, yet somehow i couldn’t. It felt very difficult to have a positive interaction with people I met, to get them to agree with me, to like me, to see me as the charming and interesting guy I believe I am.
Why Can’t I Connect?
Sometimes I thought it was them to blame for not connecting (short-sighted, didn’t care to know me or maybe even they were ill-intended to begin with). And why not to be them? I was acting as the genuine me: spontaneous, temperamental, saying what i felt like saying when i felt like it. Maybe we were not a good match…
Other times though it was me who wanted to make this interaction work. I wanted so much for the other person to like me, that I was willing to compromise the genuine “me” and behave in a way that I hoped to be appealing to the other side. Still, even in this case, I couldn’t reach my goal. I couldn’t get the other person to connect. I was trying my best, and yet no positive response. Maybe it was them to blame again.
Something is Missing…
No. Deep inside I gradually began realizing that there was something missing. I meant well, but I couldn’t pass my positive intentions through to the other person. Either I was saying the wrong things, or I wasn’t doing enough of the right things to make a relationship work/ Maybe even both.
This stressful feeling seemed to come out more intensely at home, being with the people I hold most dearly in my heart like no others. My wife, my son, my mother, my father. This small team of people we all value.
I occasionally saw myself not being able to connect at all with people I have spent my entire life with. To put it more frankly, i was disconnecting. Not paying attention, listening without really listening, yelling. And on a special note, even when i realized that a member of my family was in trouble and needed support, needed to talk, to let things out to a close one, I was either not really listening or listening without knowing what to say back.
There was something missing in me. Something that prevented from connecting with people the way i really intended to. This something couldn’t just be missing from the other people. There was something I needed to do.
Do any of these events or thoughts seem familiar? Are you having such inner chats?
The Magic Ingredient for Human Connection: Communication
The answer that brings light into the day, the ingredient that empowers us to be who we want and connect with people in an honest, positive, appealing way, is communication.
It is much more than the words we use. Communication is a language by itself, with its rules and its own vocabulary. Unless we learn them and practice them consciously, we will not be able to raise our human relationships to the next level, to the level that we all deserve.
Just imagine how it would be like to
Enable your loved ones to express themselves when under stress, offering them the much needed clarity of mind and calmness.
Get closer and connect with your children even after a day’s hard work.
Be the best role model for your children to learn the right way to connect with other people
Enjoy honest, deep, happier moments with your friends.
Get people to “click” with you on the very first occasion and “click back” with them.
Getting that pair of eyes that you so much like be interested only in you.
There is no better time to start enjoying all of this than now. The language of communication will enable you to connect, to understand people like never before, and be the real you at the same time.
It all begins with choice: Are you willing to consciously work on your communication language? Does it make sense to work on something that will be paying you off every single of your life?
Make the decision. Invest in learning the language of communication.
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